In 1897 Troy had just finished his galactic battle in the asteroid belt with a giant evil space squid. Suffering the loss of his left arm he stopped into a nearby space station for repairs. This is where he met Tim who constructed him a new arm from the souls of 1000 flying monkeys. Troy repaid Tim by letting him join his crew as they set off for more adventure. Many, many years passed and they both grew rugged and beardly. The year 2042 came all too quick for our savage and noble crew. By this point their massive beards could pilot their ship for them. However, one day when exploring the depths of the Pacific Ocean they were attacked by a submarine of pirates who quickly boarded their ship. Their pirate leader Jay was awestruck upon embarking. Seeing this beardtrocity he was compelled to join their crew and convinced them they must remove their grand beards. They dumped the excess beardness into the ocean, raising water levels three feet across the world. This caused global panic and the trio was forced to flee back into space. Tim, not paying attention to where he was piloting the ship, flew them straight into a black hole. Though they struggled they could not escape its grasp and were forced into singularity. Upon reaching the other side they were blinded by white light everywhere. When their vision returned they saw never ending white emptiness and one man standing there. They approached the man and asked who, why, where, and how? He simply stated he is the keeper of black holes, and they were in his domain where it was always 1999. His name was Derrek, and he told them if they let him join their crew he would help them escape. Tim, Troy, and Jay, after a long discussion, agreed that this would be acceptable terms. So they were guided out. As they continued their crazy caustic crusade coming cross cans of creamed cabbage they met Cavan. His courteous creations carved a curly conscious kite from the cosmos. They called out concerned clearly for continuing their cordial cause now confirmed and conjoined. The five of them travelled through space together.
Time continued to cycle until 2221 when they had stumbled across a giant jungle planet while attempting to evade slightly yellowish glowing deep space zombies. These zombies were faster than normal zombies, as they had high morale, which made for a true challenge for them. The crew used the dense oversized jungle to elude the zombies. As they were flying through at high speeds the wing clipped something and they spun out of control plummeting into the ground. Knocked out from the crash, they had landed in a camp of alien aborigine beetle men, and were chained and bound. They woke to the screams of Cavan as he was quartered by large dinosaur like creatures. The beetle tribesmen began chanting as they took his skull, cleaned it, and placed it altar formed of skulls from various other creatures. The chief turned to the captive crew, looking specifically at Troy as he was frantically screaming profanities. With a whirr and a hum of the chief’s wings, he raised up his staff high and slammed it into the ground. Lightning shrieked and weaved between tribesmen straight into Troy and as it filled his body time stood still for a moment. With a glare of shock Troy looked directly at Tim and said… “You’re the captain no…” as his entire body suddenly burst into a fine red mist coating the area. His skeleton remained there, slumped over. A beetle tribesmen plucked his skull from the pile of his remains and brought it swiftly over to the chieftain. He placed it in the final spot on the altar. A rumbling began. The jungle around them came